June 1/2020 “No Regrets Retirement”
When you retire, you can do a retirement workshop, that has you complete an exercise, taking you through the six life arenas that will impact your retirement. These six areas are: career, family, relationships, self, spiritual life and leisure. Many people who retire put all their energy into one or two areas, their career and family. That doesn’t leave much time for yourself, your passions, relationships or leisure.
I recently spoke with a friend of mine and I asked her how retirement was going.
She stated that she wished she had the courage to live a life that was true to herself and not the life others expected of me. Sally had grown up in a culture that only valued careers in medicine, teaching and engineering. She was the type of person that wanted to help others emotionally. She became an engineer at her parents’ request. But many years later when she felt that she could finally do what she desired, she switched careers to become a coach, and she was finally at peace with herself. In the next decade what talents and skills would you enjoy utilizing? What will make you feel happy and fulfilled?
The second regret she stated was, “She wished that she hadn’t worked so hard, and spent more time with her family. Take a close look at where you are spending your hours. How would you shift your life energy to enjoy your family relationships, hobbies and yourself more in the next decade? What will make you have no regrets about how you spending your valuable time now and in your retirement.
May 15/2020 Impact of retirement on spousal relationships
How much time would you like to spend together and how much time to spend apart. In preparation for retirement make a point of spending time as a couple exploring different activities and doing things you enjoy together. The intention here is to rekindle your relationship. Research shows that positive relationships are at the very heart of a successful retirement. They are directly connected to health and longevity.
We are now living longer, 35 years longer than our great grand parents. What are you going to do with all this time on your hands? Who are you going to be? Who do you want to spend your time with?
If you haven’t developed a circle of friends and interests outside of work, now’s the time to start. One of the things that people commonly complain about is clinginess in a retired spouse. This can cause resentment on both sides, with one partner feeling suffocated and the other resentful. How are you going to negotiate the boundaries if too much togetherness becomes too much for your marriage? Negotiating that balance is important. The same goes for working out boundaries around other significant relationships, such as a sibling or parent in poor health who needs some support or kids who are hoping to rely on you for regular child care.